Following the mail exchanges, here’s another contribution to the Peedha, by – well, let’s just call him – The Sun…

Sab ko hai apne apne trackeron se pyaar!!

Kartey rahtey hain hum pur nirantar atyaachaar!!

Attrition, Goal setting, PMS yeh to ab hain hamaare sah parivaar

But iss chakkar mein kaise bhool gaye voh hiring trackers ka avtaar..

Jo hasaatey rulaatey bhagaatey tadpaatey..

Kabhi business to kabhi region se dilvaayey queries or formats ki bauchaar!!

Mere pyaare HR ke mitron..

Kar rahey hain hum log apnee strategic competencies build..

Employee engagement in this day and age is

Very much like a band aid while Taliban and NATO are getting killed..

Hai hamaara apna nirantar sapnaa..

Hiring ka mantra to hai raat din japnaa.

Stambhit aur bhramit ho gaye;

Krodhagni mein jala ke..

Hamarey human engagement ke basics ko hila ke..

In trackeron ne kiya hamey ek baar phir dharashayee..

Humaree saasein hain ghabrayee..

Himmat hai sharmaayee..

Data compiling ability hai hadbadai..

Ab aap hi bole.. hum karein ki na karien compile!!

Yeh sab kartey, jeetey martey na kiya kuch bhi itnaa enjoy..

Jitna Ms. B & Ms. Dewdrop ke poems ka dhamaaka.

Thakengey, rukengey ladengey marenge chahey jo tracker maango voh bharengey..

Bus in return kabhi kabhi yeh poems denaa bhej..

Taaki hum bhi ruk ruk kar dukh dukh kar hotey rahein encourage!!

Kyon bhai… theek hain na for our vintage??

Warning : This post is going to be in Hindi (and I’ll translate it for the benefit of all).

Reproduced below is the poem they sent to us (South Team) :

Jab se Dewdrop ka Induction (in HR) hua hai,

Pre-inductees ka FORCED business interaction shuru hua hai.

(From the time DewDrop has joined HR, new recruits have been forced to have interactions with Businesses)

Pehle jab kabhi hote the Open house;

Aur Business se HR milta tha jaise someone meeting an ex-spouse,

(Previously, during Open Houses, HR used to meet Business akin to meeting an ex-spouse)

Par ab aalam aisa hai –

Ki HR aur Business ka milna – arranged match se peedith, maa-baap se forced;

Kisi ladki/ladke kii potential se lagaatar meeting jaisa hai.

(But now, the situation is such that HR meets business akin to those girls / guys who are pained by arranged marriages and are forced by parents to meet their potential life-partners)

Jaise shaadiyon ka season saal bhar aata jaata hai,

Thanks to apni Dewdrop, – waise hi panchang jaise ab interaction calendar with THICK PPTs aata hai.

(Marriage season comes throughout the year; similarly, Dewdrop sends us interaction calendars and thick PPTs)

Har baar hum wonder karte hain,

Par naa chaahate hue bhi interaction tracker dekar surrender karte hain.

Par ek khayaal phir bhi dil mein har baar aata hai,

Itni globe maarne ki kshamata aur ppt banaane ka patience bhagwaan Dewdrop ko kahan se deta hai.

(We wonder each time but even though we don’t want it, we fill trackers and send them across; however we wonder where does Dewdrop get the potential to give such global gnyaan and patience to make PPTs)

PAR BHAIYON AUR BEHENON-

Yahiin nahin hota khatam yeh kissa,

Aaisi aadatein acquired aur communicable hoti hain-apni South HR Team proof hai iska.

Dewdrop agar performance management ki hai Devi,

toh not far lagging behind is D – our V ‘MAHA’sveta devi.

Kyunki Dewdrop ka atyaachaar toh spurts mein – saal mein ruk ruk kar aata hai,

D ka V toh poora saal hi hamein marwaata hai ( yeh dekho aayi ek aur mail).

(It doesn’t end here. If Dewdrop is the Goddess of Performance Management then D is the MahaDevi of V – an HR engagement initiative; Dewdrop’s torture comes in spurts but D’s V is there to haunt us throughout the year (Look, here comes another mail from D!!!)

Abhi kahan chal diye’ – rukiye rukiye’

Who kaise bhool sakte hain hum,

Who wahi atyaachar joh hum par karte’ hai (now not available) SHBniam.

(Wait guys, where are you’ll off to… How can we forget the person who used to torture us so much – SHB)

De dana dan mails aur database cleanup aur ab joining process/ exit process/ confirmation process…wagerah wagerah cleanup mein pehle phansaata hai,

Aur us paar who hans hans kar zor zor se ….aisa lagta hai hamara mazaak hii udaata hai ( karo karo abhi aur bhi hai…types)

Bhai soch soch kar ghabraate hain hum,

Kahaan se laate hain yeh sitam karna ka itna dum.

Hum peediton ka toh kya hai – jaise kaise karte hain,

Par yeh South team ke praani ek cheez toh definitely deserve kartehain…….

(We wonder where do they get such powers to torture us so… we poor souls have no way out except to give in and do the job but the South Team definitely deserve one thing – The Oscars!)

JAI HO!!

To this, I responded thus (On the music of Rock On’s Meri Laundry Ka Ek Bill…) :

Humare Trackers Ke Lists,

Badle mein humein milte hain Fists

Bosses Ke Data Numbers,

Jo ban jaate hain Trackers

Pichhle mahinon mein humne aaplogon ko sataye

Kabhi Khud Pe Hanse Aap

Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Roye…

(Our list of trackers only invite the angst from other teams… Our bosses’ quantitative targets get converted into trackers… In the last few months, we have pained you’ll a lot…At times you’ll must have laughed on yourselves, and at times cried)

Kaise Bhulein Aaj ka Din Jo Aaya

Kisi Ne West Team ka dimaag Khulwayaa

Kaisa Pal Tha Jis Pal Unhonein taareefon bhara mail humein paadvaya…

(How can we forget today when the West team sent across their mail full of praise for us)

Humari itni si intejaa hai aapse…

Humari bhi pareshaniyan samaja kijiye…

Hum bhi trackers ke bhoj se dooooooob rahen hain…

(Our only request to all is to understand that we too fill the trackers we create and are drowning in them as well)

Ye toh trailer hain doston…

Aap logon ke Hosh Bhi Kho jayenge…

Dil Bhi Kho jayenge

Kabhi Khud Pe Hansenge Aap,

Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Royenge