Archive for January, 2009

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150 Things To Do Before You Turn Thirty

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

I came across this list here. Loved the list… some have intriguing things, others bizzare and then there are those which I would love to do.

The things that I have already done are in green and bold.

The things which I would love to do are in pink and bold.

Here I go!!

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone (Hmm…. ;) )

08. Said “I love you” and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby’s diaper

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb

33. Seen a total eclipse

34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Visited all 50 states

41. Taken care of someone who was drunk

42. Had amazing friends

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

44. Watched whales

45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe

47. Taken a road-trip

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them

54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow

56. Alphabetized your CDs

57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Sung karaoke

59. Lounged around in bed all day

60. Played touch football

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain

63. Played in the mud

64. Played in the rain

65. Gone to a drive-in theatre

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites

70. Taken a martial arts class

71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie

74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days

77. Made cookies from scratch

78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. Rafted the Snake River

82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”

83. Gotten flowers for no reason

84. Performed on stage

85. Been to Las Vegas

86. Recorded music

87. Eaten shark

88. Kissed on the first date

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house

91. Been in a combat zone

93. Been on a cruise ship

94. Spoken more than one language fluently

95. Performed in Rocky Horror

96. Raised children

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

98. Passed out cold

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived

105. Wrote articles for a large publication

106. Lost over 100 pounds

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane

109. Touched a stingray

110. Broken someone’s heart

111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a TV game show

113. Broken a bone

114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

118. Ridden a horse

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi

128. Had your picture in the newspaper

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed

132. Touched a cockroach

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes

134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

137. Skipped all your school reunions

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office

140. Written your own computer language

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146. Dyed your hair

147. Been a DJ

148. Shaved your head

149. Caused a car accident

150. Saved someone’s life

Almost 35% completion rate!! Not Bad… I’ll add in a few of the pink ones as my new year resolutions!

Posted in Thirty, To-do | 18 Comments »

My Corner Office…

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
I am an avid reader and in my growing years, I have read a lot of fiction. I came across the term ‘Corner Office’ many times – offices which have windows on two walls, as opposed to a typical office with only one window or none at all. These are typically given to the most senior executives, the term primarily refers to top management positions in the company. And I have always desired one for myself.
Well, here’s my version of my corner office – literally since I have my workstation in a corner, with windows on two walls as opposed to others in my function who have just one window!!! (Fits the definition to a ‘T’, doesn’t it? :) )

So, let me begin by talking about all that you see in the pic.

What you see on the extreme left hand side top is one of the two things I hold on to, during my trying days – the Holiday list :) . When days are long, one glance at this list keeps me looking forward to a bright, lazy holiday(s).

The next thing beside it is a play ticket – my first theatre show after I moved in here. It was Evam’s brand new play, Doubles, Triples & Quadruples – Nobody Stays Single! It had opened to a packed house… There were sketches, monologues, audience interaction galore… and a laughter riot. This was also where I won a lucky draw and clicked happy memories of us in theatre costumes!

Next is a list of twelve of my favourite things :

  • Shah Rukh Khan – I just love his soulful eyes and his performances. People may talk about stereo-type, chocolate-boy acting but I am one true, blue ardent SRK fan.
  • The Guitar – Always wanted to learn this musical instrument… I love music and guitar brings songs alive for me – it’s my picture of a guy serenading his love while strumming on his guitar and singing romantic numbers!
  • Thoughts – I am a day-dreamer at times and I have always been told to not think too much!
  • Wild flowers – I love their colours, shades and hues… I love their spread on lush green fields, running wild and free.
  • Being wild and free…
  • Steaming cups of coffee…
  • Freshly powdered babies!
  • Moonlight on a calm sea
  • Taking flight…
  • Asymmetrical designs
  • White, frothy waves crashing on rocks – the spray and sound
  • Prayer
I had come across a mail forward on ‘The Woman In Your Life’. I had found it powerful and thought-provoking. It is pinned up on my desk and is reproduced below :

The Woman In Your Life

Here is a girl, who is as much educated and who is earning almost as much as you do;

One who has dreams, aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise;

One, who can be late from work when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your un-stinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

My cutie cuddly teddy was a gift from my best friend whose snap I keep with me always… more than the teddy itself, I cherish the memories it brings to me when I look at it. The Friends Forever was captured on the day I met her last, just as I was leaving Mumbai.

The most frequently used thing on my desk is the telephone and my hand-phone. There are times when they just keep ringing incessantly, demanding attention.

Next are my list of responsibilities in my work and a long list of phone-a-friend numbers!

Garfield completely symbolizes me when I am at home, chilled out and lazy… and my stress-busters come of use more than once in a day – whether to play catch in office or to bounce it off the wall when I am trying to get some ideas or solve problems.

My daily dose of inspiration comes from my universal calendar – it doesn’t have a year so it doesn’t become redundant as one year after the other speeds by. Saasta aur tikau!!!

And finally, when I am the most strung and have only one nerve left and still people keep stepping on it, I read Rudyard Kipling’s ‘IF’. It was sent to me by a very dear friend of mine, on my first day at my first job. We both had joined the company together. He was in the Navy fbefore this job on a short stint and when days were tough, he had found sanity in these words.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

In fact, if I compare my workstation of my earlier company to the current one, this poem is one thing I have carried on from there and I hope it continues to give me my peace in my most crazy times.

Posted in Corner Office, Desk, Favourite Things, Office, Work-station | 10 Comments »

…When Venus and Mars meet on Earth!

Friday, January 2nd, 2009
As a Human Resource Professional, I handle a number of employees who join the Company from different parts of the country and once they reach the base location, take their time adjusting to the new place. Here, I make it a point to interact with them within a few days of their coming on board. I ask them how they are adjusting to the new city and I have observed men and women having a similar pattern to their answers. If the new recruit is a woman, she will typically talk about how difficult it is to set up her new house, manage kid(s), commute to work, long work hours etc. If the new recruit is a guy, he will talk about how well he has adjusted, how he managed to clinch a deal with his landlord for a lower rent etc. On the face of it, I used to think men are more positive, looking at the brighter side of things whereas women are natural cribbers. Till I spoke to this married couple who had got transferred to the City. When I spoke to the wife separately, she spoke on similar lines about harassing auto fares, about finding the right house, setting it up, kids’ school etc while on a one-on-one conversation with her husband, he raved about how he managed to pay low auto fares everyday, the long weekends where he had so much time with kids etc. Here were two people leading the same life, commuting in the same auto, facing the same issues but one spoke about hardships and the other talked about how much things were in his control.
**Poof** For guys, talk is more often a competition where there is one up-manship and they are conditioned such that any display of lack of control is weakness. (Boys don’t cry… Mard ko dard nahin hota…) On other hand, we women approach situations, seeking support and consensus. We are very comfortable seeking help and sympathy for our hardships. For us, conversations are a way to reach out, vent out feelings and seek collective solutions.

There was this incident where this couple were out on a drive and the girl-friend asked her guy, “Do you want to eat pizza?”. The guy, being his straight-forward self truthfully declined the offer and kept driving. Suddenly, there was tension in the air and complete silence. The girl, who had, in her heart of hearts, actually wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The guy, on the other hand, was confused about her anger and then frustrated. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just say what you want to do rather than talk in circles?”

**Poof** Girls ask questions, for a dialogue and process of communication, to communicate her choice and negotiate. And guys, being the way they are, just express their preference, which may / may not be a full and final decision but our instincts immediately pick it up as such and we get bugged, accusing him of selfishness and insensitivity. What probably is a better way to handle this is for both to remember this and try not to interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways.

We both have tonnes of friends who keep dropping in at odd hours and I personally am always for good company. And we have it unsaid between us that before inviting people over, we check with each other, to know convenience and avoid clashes with other commitments. Once I was having this conversation with my friend (guy) who, very candidly, told me that every time he wanted to have people over to his house, he found it a big ego issue to check with his wife whereas she never had issues asking him while inviting her guests over and that how did it work so well between us?

**Poof** For guys, it is a hit on their ego since they feel a curb on their freedom and it seemingly is seeking permission. Whereas for girls, to tell someone that they need to check with their partners makes them feel more special and makes their lives intertwined with each other.

Another very common form of dialogue that happens between us goes something like this :

Me : It is just too hot today!

Him : Arre, just stand in the shade na…

Me : [A teeny-tiny bit of exasperation is forming in my mind] There is no sign of my bus coming. It is getting really late.

Him : Just take an auto then.

Me : [Exasperation levels are rising] I know I can take an auto but it is going to be very expensive.

Him : So then wait for your bus for some more time. Give yourself a deadline after which either take a connecting bus or an auto or check for the nearest train station…

Me : [Touching danger levels] Ok bye! Hmmmmppp!

**Poof** I completely lose my cool when a guy starts giving me obvious solutions which, with my minimal intelligence, I can figure out. All I want at that time, is some support, some sympathy for my sorry state and not A/C chilled solutions! But, looking from his perspective, a guy would want to help and solve the problem and once solved, he would not to discuss it since he thinks there is nothing to solve; hence nothing to discuss.

I had the great fortune of having my home being taken over by IIT guys for the last 24 hours – the occasion being a mini-reunion of sorts. Stress on IITians since they are known to be one group of guys who are perennially deprived of female attention for lack of their presence during their graduation hostel days and fortunate since I couldn’t have asked for a better start to my New Year – that they can be such good fun to have around – full of laughter, jokes, leg-pulling and good humour. But here was one gathering where I perceived what would happen when these Martians would ultimately meet the Venusians (based on a variety of conversations, none of which I can reproduce here :) ) and the last 24hours became the inspiration for this post!

Posted in Communication, Men, Women | 4 Comments »

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